A couple of days ago I got an email from a long-lost IBEX alumnus. His comments are not the first time I have heard such, and I don’t doubt that others have felt the same but just have never had reason or courage to communicate with me. Indeed, I feel exactly the same way when I think back to my college (or earlier) years. I cringe when I think of it, and I hope that my former teachers and leaders don’t remember me (note: I work for the same institution where I went to college, albeit on a different continent). Here is part of my reply to him, and to all others who might feel the same way.
Dear G—–,
…
You mentioned the trouble you caused me and for being such a punk. I know exactly what you’re talking about. Not because I remember you being a punk (I don’t), but because I remember my college years. I remember making bad decisions, and I remember disappointing my teachers and other leaders. Some of those memories seem like they will never leave me, though I have so easily forgotten so many good things I learned. I suppose in one way I am thankful to God for my foolishness, because it helps me to better understand college students. It’s not hard for me to remember that I did some of the same things. But I’m not the same person now, and I know that you aren’t either. God is good to help us mature. Perhaps you’re a leader now of younger people. My advice: don’t be easy on them. Push them to be honest and hard-working and characterized by integrity. That is one of the ways that God helps them to grow up. Though I don’t remember whatever you were referring to, I remember your semester very vividly. The non-stop rain. The guys who wanted to jump in Solomon’s Pools. The soccer girls who made things a lot of fun. The guys’ Bible study. I’ll always be thankful for that semester. Thanks for writing and may the Lord continue to exalt Himself through you.
Because I live in Israel, not many students get the chance to “stop by” and say hi. Thus years can go by and when they think of it, they may be afraid to because they think I “still remember.” I don’t, and even if I did, I understand.
“G—–” could be me! :) All kidding aside, I resonate with your thoughts, Todd. I have lots of regrets, too. When I’m walking by the Spirit, they turn me to the grace and patience of God and they inspire me to do better now. When I’m walking in the flesh, they discourage me and tempt me to believe that who I was then is who I have to be now.
Thanks also for your thoughts on leadership among young people – being hard, demanding excellence, calling for integrity, honesty, and blamelessness; all under the umbrella of love and vision for who they can be for the kingdom. I needed to hear your admonition.